The one plot twist was apparent half way into the move, so it failed as a drama. The story was cliched and the ending a cop out, so it failed as social commentary. But it wasn’t a drama, nor a social commentary, right? It was a comedy.

It failed in that respect as well. I’m a fan of both Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, but their comedy on Saturday Night Live was more cutting edge than anything in Baby Mama.

Leaving Theatre:

Me: I laughed at a few parts.

Kayleigh: Me too.

Me: What was the funniest part to you?

Kayleigh: …

That says it all.

I kind of have a history with Emmitt Smith. We’re the same age, and grew up in the same town, Pensacola, Florida. All through grade school I heard about Emmitt’s running abilities from friends who faced him on weekends. Yes, Emmitt was a monster even before he reached his teens. His first High School game was against my high school, on our field. I only remember him playing the first half; he wasn’t needed the second. We weren’t very good, not that it would have mattered. His senior year I went to see his high school, Escambia High, play their rival, Pensacola High. It was the much anticipated match-up between Emmitt and another highly touted running back, Victor Floyd. Floyd won this battle, Emmitt being stopped cold while Floyd ran through Escambia’s defense like it was butter. It would be one of the only battles Emmitt would lose.

Beach week of my senior year (all the high schools rent beach houses to celebrate after graduation… at least they use to) Emmitt and a few of his buddies crashed our house and ate our food. Or so I was told. I had only seen Emmitt on the football field. I had no idea what he looked like.

Emmitt went on to a successful college career, and was then drafted by the Dallas Cowboys, my team since I was 4 and thought the star on their helmets meant they were all-stars. Emmitt went on to help the team win three super-bowls, giving me great memories and helping me survive another decade of Red Sox misery.

So you could say I feel like I know Emmitt, even if he has no clue who I am.

Add to this that I’ve done a little dancing myself. I can fox trot, waltz, swing a little, that type thing. Pretty basic, mind you, but I know enough to respect those who do it well. It’s hard folks. I’d much rather face a 90 mile per hour fast-ball than pull off a waltz in front of a crowd.

At the beginning of the season, Emmitt wasn’t very good. Not a big surprise. He’s a big guy, with beat up knees and no dancing experience. Still, he was enthusiastic (not that it’s hard when dancing with Cheryl Burke), and dammit if he didn’t improve every week. He ended up winning the contest, with Mario Lopez coming in second.

And this wasn’t a pity vote. This wasn’t Jerry Rice, last years second place winner, garnering votes because of great effort despite often appearing to have two left feet. He deserved to win. The man can flat out dance.

There are those that say Mario Lopez was ripped off, which is nonsense. Mario Lopez is a career entertainer, with plenty of dancing experience. Nothing Lopez did compares with the amount of work and improvement that Emmitt Smith made during the show. To make that type of improvement over such a short period of time is simply mind-boggling. If you’ve done any ball-room dancing, you already know this.

Besides, dancing is more than perfect technique. Technique merely allows you to stop worrying about the steps and connect with the crowd, to entertain. And in that respect, Mario Lopez was definitely a distant second.